Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Glenn Beck Will Fire You if You Use CFLs, Because Why Not

Just because he wanted to prove that it's still possible to make conservatives look bad in the public eye, Glenn Back has decided to amp up his global warming bashing in the most logical, sensible way imaginable: he's going to fire any employee who used CFLs. You know, compact fluorescent lights. The little twisty ones that, besides saving all sorts of money (which Beck should be all over), save energy.

Let me take the time to not at all sarcastically defend what good ol' Glenny Beckerson is saying:

As Grist says:
(Glenn says,) naturally, that global warming is a "load of socialist, communist crap.” I guess if science weren’t socialist, you’d get to vote on it? Then again,70 percent of Americans think climate change is real. Possibly what Glenn Beck wants is totalitarian science.
The idea that the Earth is getting warmer is clearly rooted in the evil ideas of communism. The relation is so clear and obvious that I don't need to waste any time explaining the connection. I mean come on.

“I’m dead serious. I fire the person that starts to purchase fluorescent lightbulbs, UNLESS that is the only lightbulb for a very specific reason, and I want to be CC’d on what that reason is.”
Come on guys, he's being reasonable here. If there's a real good reason to use money saving, electricity saving technology, then sure, of course your boss will let you buy that type of light bulb. He's not a jerk after all.
Also, he's "dead serious." Meanwhile everyone around him is laughing because everything he's saying is stupid and ridiculous. Or at least I hope that's why they're laughing, not because the thought of people being fired over energy savings is an incredibly humorous thought.

“If anyone does anything in this company because of global warming, they’re fired.”
Yes okay. Perfectly logical. One question though. What if, due to the warming of the globe, one of your employees sweats? Is that... is that considered "doing something?" Does this warrant a firing?
Also, what if one of your employees drowns due to rising sea levels? Does this warrant a firing?
I realize these are fairly nit-picky things I'm pointing out, so feel free to ignore them Glenny. Whatevs. No big deal.

Here are some non-sarcastic remarks on the matter:
This sexy man will do unspeakable things to you with this here spoon if you recycle. 
First of all, there's the little issue that GLOBAL WARMING IS HAPPENING. "Oh no, it's not," he tells you. "But it is," replies nearly all of science, data, and reason.
You can still sort of debate that humans aren't behind global warming, because come on, the Earth has gone through drastic changes in temperature before. You could even debate that global warming is a good thing, but that's a pretty hard argument to make.
But what you can't argue is that it isn't happening. It is! The Earth is getting warmer, like it's a thing that's happening.
You know how when you drop something and it falls to the ground? That's a thing that happens. You know how you go on the air and be an idiot? That's a thing that happens, Global warming? It's happening, right now. Look at things like data and information, and apply a thing called reasonable thinking to it, and you will soon see that the Earth is getting warmer.

Is that bad? Did we cause it? You can debate those to a certain extent, but it is happening. It simply is. Get your head out of your pampered ass and accept it.
(To the people who say "but last winter was like, extra cold and long man, that's not warm, yo homskillet." Global warming is actually a somewhat unfortunate name, since the real effects of it is more severe weather. Hurricanes, winter storms, the oceans swallowing cities, things like that. It's not all about temperature.)

What's the deal with recycling Glenny? That's not even really about global warming, that's about avoiding piles of trash covering up everything. That seems like a good thing. Do you want trash piling up?

My view on this whole matter has long been that, even if global warming somehow proves to be wrong, even if it is a "load of socialist, communist crap," recycling isn't hurting anything. Neither are CFLs. Literally, recycling is just using things again. That is not negative, that isn't bad. Why the hell would you be against it? You don't need to full out support it, but why take the time and energy to be against something that isn't doing nothing wrong?

I've probably said this about 10 billion times, but I still consider myself a conservative, at least fiscally (it's nearly impossible to be intelligent and socially conservative these days), but it's the crap like this that is making the GOP look like a party of old, idiotic, out of touch, ridiculously stupid, annoying, useless piece of crap white men. Granted, there are a lot of old, idiotic, out of touch, ridiculously stupid, annoying, useless piece of crap white men in the party, but there's also a lot of good ideas and logic.
But nope. That stuff isn't important, because idiots like Glenn Beck do crap like this. That gets the media's attention, and then the party looks more and more dumb and useless.
Is it really a surprise that Obama beat Romney when he belongs to the same party as people like Glenn Beck? (Also Romney's campaign was pure crap, but that's another point entirely.)
No. The Republican Party has a ton of idiots in it, and they're not helping themselves or the Party by continuing to be idiots, because the media reports on it.
Every party has a ton of idiots in it, but for some reason or another, the Republican idiots are easy to find and report on.

Here are just some things that are stupid that Republican(s) has/have done in the last year or so, just for funs:

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